The Thin Line Between Confidence and Arrogance

And knowing where it is during an interview.

This blog was inspired by a question from a client last week who is struggling with his interview skills: “How do I know if I have crossed over from self-confidence to arrogance during the interview?” An honest question, from a Millennial, a generation of new workers not given to introspection, per se. I have worked with, and created mentoring programs for, today's new generation of workers. They seem to have a built-in code of confidence, which, sometimes is perceived as arrogance. While self-confidence is necessary, especially in regard to careers and interviewing, it requires a healthy dose of self-awareness as well.

My answer was to let him know that interviews are the place highlight your achievements, but it is vitally important to be aware of your attitude, and to know when to reel it back, if necessary. After thinking about it for a while, I posted the question on one of my Linked In groups, CareerRocketeer. I received thoughtful and articulate answers, which I will summarize here:

“It is an art form to convey confidence with humility and it must be done with a huge dose of authenticity.” from Polli DeWalt
I am not sure if humility is innate, but it can be learned. During an interview, if you have done a job requirement a million times, the interviewer wants to hear how well you will do it for them, not “yeah, been there done that, duh!” Highlight your actual accomplishments and how you can do the same thing for them. Be helpful, as arrogant candidates are not typically helpful.

“You appear (and are) most confident and ultimately successful when you stop asking, 'What's in it for me?'” from Shelli Nemec
Let's face it, as a job seeker, you pretty much know what's it in for you. As an interviewee, you must relate what is in it for them, should they hire you. They are interviewing you specifically for that reason. Being confident about your experience is essential, but relating how you can help them in a way that is not boastful, is the goal. Do not inquire about salary, vacations, perks etc in an interview. Save that discussion for an offer of employment.

“Being assertive and marketing yourself in an interview is a good thing. Being overly confident, aggressive, and behaving as if you are entitled to the position is bad.” from Suly Rieman

No one is entitled to a job or a career. You have to earn it, and having the ability to demonstrate your accomplishments in an interview is a skill. Practice! If you think you are crossing the arrogance line, get some outside opinions.

“Engagement: Along the lines of the adage: In order to be interesting, you must be interested." from Alan L. Sklover, Esq.
Life is learning, and learning never stops. During an interview, be interested in what they want, and answer in a way that your experience becomes an asset to them. Be engaged, ask questions before you answer.

The line between confidence and arrogance can be a thin one, so:

• Video yourself in a mock interview, and work on any problem spots.
• Market your skills as an asset, but not in a “know it all manner” and do not be aggressive.
• Be aware of what and how you say things, and present your achievements in a way that highlights not only what you did/do, but what you can do for them.  

Companies hire candidates that are confident in their skills and talents, but keep their egos in check.

 
Note: I quote some great career advisers (thanks!) in this article and they are on Linked In.  Please check them out.
 

About the “Confident” Author: Kristi Enigl is a Global Career and Job Search Consultant who brings over 20 years of Hiring, HR Management and Executive Recruiting across a broad spectrum of industries to her professional practice. She helps professionals identify, create, and market their career brand so they reach their career goals – FAST. She is an expert resume writer, interview coach, and speaker. Info at http://www.kristienigl.com/.